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MY STORY
The biggest challenge most equestrians face is fear and anxiety.
I never ask anyone to share their thoughts and experiences without being open to share my own story of losing and then re-building my own riding confidence.My story has helped shape my career. As even though I was a riding instructor/coach before, I now specialise in rider confidence and psychology, by using NLP coaching along side my practical riding lessons.
So here’s is my story...I wasn’t born into a horsey family or come from a horsey background. I was just a horse obsessed child that would beg every year for a pony or riding lessons. I dreamed of a life surrounded with horses, specifically very fast horses!
When we moved to a more rural area, there were horses in fields everywhere. I would beg every owner to do chores in exchange for rides and would ride any pony they had! After school I knew it was an equestrian career waiting for me but becoming a coach was still a long way off and wasn’t even a thought that crosses my mind until much later.
I was laughed at by the school career adviser when I told them I wanted to be a jockey and pursue a career in horse racing. “We don’t think that’s realistic.” They said.My attitude was very much - “Watch me!”...and so I did!It is of no surprise to me now how determined and driven I was, as I’d spent my whole childhood dreaming of fast horses! Of course it was always going to be a racehorse that won my heart!(Actually looking back, many did.)
I have had an amazing and varied career within different equestrian disciplines, from racing, dressage and showing, welfare, racehorse rehabilitation, to riding schools and becoming a coach.Although my career was exciting and hugely educational, it also came with a great deal of risk and I have experienced my fair share of falls, kicks and near misses. More than I care to remember. So when you tell me about your past experiences, an accident, a terrible thought or worry, a difficult horse... trust me when I say, I know exactly what you mean.
As i got a bit older, became a mum, life started changing and I rode less and less. I noticed my confidence wasn’t quite what it used to be. Little things at first, like doubting my abilities, “What if” thoughts and avoiding the big jumps.When I had to take some time out from horses having my second child (the first time I’d had any significant break from horses since I started at age 11!), when I wanted to return to riding again and my career and life’s work corn the past 14 years.... I just couldn’t!I had lost ALL of my confidence completely.I would shake, sweat, have nightmares, feel sick, have flash backs to old riding accidents.The thought of doing anything with a horse just bought back every band memory I had. So again, trust me when I say “I know how you feel” when you talk to me about how fear and anxiety makes you feel and how’s much it holds you back.
Clearly this was not a great place to be for a riding instructor and someone who’d spent their whole life and career dedicated to horses and riders.And after all those years learning, gaining experience and qualifications... how could I not already know how to fix this?It took me sometime to have the courage to ask for help to work this out.It was the day i turned to my Dad and said “I don’t think I’ll ever ride again”, which made me realise I HAD to take action and seek the help I needed, or lose what I’ve worked with forever.So when you say you don’t know how you can get through this, trust me, I know how that feels and I know that you absolutely can. Because I have. I am living proof and I am here to help you too.
As I was starting to work through this process of understanding myself and my mind, I realised there were so many others, just like me. And all of us felt alone in our struggles.
I discovered NLP and learnt more about myself now in the process.I began to put the techniques to use and started to ride again. What a world of difference it made!And the rest, as they say, is history. When I became my own boss at the beginning of last year (2019) and started coaching freelance I discovered a new direction and completed my NLP practitioner course to use these skills to help others just like me.And I know I can help you and you don’t have to feel alone.Because I have been exactly where you are.What will always amaze and encourage me is that when your confidence grows, so does the relationship and partnership with your horse.
Teaching people how to improve their riding and horses training aswel as improve their confidence and connection with their horse makes me incredibly happy and makes my story and the hard work and difficult times all worth while.
I’d love to hear from you and hear your story if you want to share it.Or please do get in touch if you’d like to hear more about the coaching I can offer.
Sam x